Lemon-Scented Bivouac  

Fatherly and, eventually, teacherly blather. Also: graphic design, baseball, synthetic fabrics, jug band music and, lord help us, the occasional politics.

Friday, June 20, 2003  

I realize that, with this post, the proportion of my entries that are taken from Mariners radio broadcasts is dangerously high, but -- the text of one of the in-game ads that Dave Neihaus has to read is: "The only thing cooler than prescription sunglasses is not paying for them." It follows that the list of Cool Things begins this way:

1) Not paying for prescription sunglasses;
2) Prescription sunglasses.

  posted by Andy @ 9:33 PM §

Joining a second soccer team, Thursday nights, as a full-time goalkeeper got me a bit skeert of the whole I'm-a-goalkeeper-now idea. I went running, on a tip, to Fine soccer, which isn't as mellow as it sounds (the guy's name is Lawrence Fine). It's all a bit eye-of-the-tiger and Vince-Lombardi for me. Every Common Error I See Goalkeepers Making turns out to ultimately relate to laziness and lack of training on the goalkeeper's part. In other words, every athletic error reveals a moral fault. This is my least favorite aspect of sports, and the one that dominated P.E., ugh, in school. (I would have loved if, when Mr. Lawrence Fine was putting together his first web page and went asking for HTML help, someone had told him: "The problem is you're not closing your tags, which is due to laziness and a lack of proper training.")

Anyway, that's not what I wanted to bring up. It's this cover of Mr. Lawrence Fine's book on Moralistic Athletic Training:

Here we have a fictional gallery of great and notable people who have scored! in life because, presumably, of scrotum-tightening agonized toughness. The question: Who the hell are they? My guesses:

Top row: El Debarge, Surfin' Albert Einstein (he seems to have dyed his hair blonde)
Middle, from left: John F. Kennedy, Wallace Shawn, Jimmie "JJ" "Dy-no-mite" Walker
Bottom, from left: Alex Rodriguez, Emo Phillips (or Crispin Glover), Kristin Hersh, Nelson Mandela balancing the head of Abraham Lincoln on his head.

Any better guesses?

  posted by Andy @ 2:24 PM §

Monday, June 16, 2003  


Mercy on me, was ever man before so be-pelted with a child's talk as I am! It is his desire of sympathy that lies at the bottom of the great heap of his babblement. He wants to enrich all his enjoyments by steeping them in the heart of some friend. I do not think him in danger of living so solitary a life as much of mine has been.

From a extract from Nathaniel Hawthorne's diaries about his son (sorry -- New York Times, registration required; sign up).

  posted by Andy @ 2:15 PM §

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